hi all.
Day 52 (or 51 i think i may be off somewhere..)
Friday March 22, 2002
8:00 coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee
12:30 apple, orange, small portion - day time "ringer"
2:00 - small bag of grapes
6:45 - turkey sandwich on whole grain bread, hold the mayo - hold the ham due to severe/fatal allergy... some fries... all good
that's that folks.
chris and i had much off mic laughs today.. you'll never know what about but much laughs. that is good i truly cherish/appreciate those moments...
i had a discussion with a friend who doesn't want to be named in this journal or associated with its "madness" in any way and her husband about how she in particular is trying to make me feel INSANE.... there was subtle denial but i think they're making reservations for me at the local asylum... i guess it won't be too bad.... 3 meals a day .. hanging out in pajamas, nap time, group therapy... maybe they're on the right track... now i'm pumped.
later dudes. hang in there.

DAY 51 - WE'RE ALMOST DONE.
Thursday March 21, 2002
8:00 coffee coffee coffee
12:00 - banana
12:30 - apple, orange, small portion of day time "ringer" (chickpeas, cabbage, carrots, baby corn, mushrooms, broccoli, red peppers, with hot sauce and BALSAMIC VINEGARETTE)
6:00 - cambodian Pad thai.. with tofu... so damned good.
10:00 banana
Wow i can't believe this is winding down. i shant be changing my eating habits from this set up. I love the ringer, i love repetition, CHANGE SICKENS ME.
Has the diet made me happy? - yes
Have i done some soul searching on this project - yes
Has losing 15-19 lbs. (depending on the day) made me feel successful? - yes
Can i now identify where i went wrong (read wrong as got fat)? yes
do i feel often times lost in a world where i worry about what to eat and do i see it staying that way? yes
Do i embrace that? yes
Do i embrace you? yes
Do i think people are out to "gas light" me.. and make me feel that i am nuts because of what i call my fun excentricities? - yes at times
Will i let this change my ways? no
How is David Byrne "artsy and cool" and I'm nuts? no answer
OH WELL I HOPE YOU'RE ALL DOING GREAT. LIFE IS OFTEN A BUMMER BUT IT IS ALSO OFTEN SUPER FUN. i will thank chris for most of the super fun parts. a good laugh at 10:00 a.m. is something to be cherished.
have a great night and i'll check in with you all later.
hey once the diet is over and i continue to blog what shall i call it?? your choice....
Rant-a-rino
or
Rage-a-rific??
gimme some in put and also gimme shelter.

DAY 50 - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.
Wednesday March 20, 2002
8:00 coffee coffee coffee
12:30 - day time "RINGER" smaller portion, apple, orange
6:30 - "RINGER" with chicken breast... good happy whatever
10:50 - vanilla yogurt ( i switched brands because my store of choice didn't carry my brand i found this to be too vanilla-y) raisins, coupla shredded wheats...
I'm having yet another in a series of days in which i wish i were deceased. not that i'm suicidal.. at all - i'm a chicken shit for sure... plus there's so much odd fun to have. but to be perfectly frank i think, nightly...."If i don't wake up that would be perfectly fine". i guess that's not good but i think others feel this way and we all get by.
i'd like to sing the praises of cucumbers today. but all i can say is i eat cucumbers every day and that (as robert frost said) "that has made all the difference". what else is there? forgive my low moment... i'm still supporting you and of course wish you the best in this endeavor!!!!

Day 49 - not feelin fine! Tuesday, March 19, 2002
I LOATHE AND DETEST TUESDAYS.
8:00 coffee coffee coffee
10:00 - grapes - donated by one of the youth of today
11:00 - carrots and sliced peppers - donated by the youth of today
12:30 - fat free strawberry yogurt w/raisins... an apple and an orannge
6:20 - the ringer with bonus kick ass ingredients... life seems good at this second
10: 00 fat free fig newtons / 3
Today i want to talk about the thrill i get from watching an obese person who claims to be on a weight program shove mini chocolate candy bars into his/her mouth......... it's like watching a kid in a candy store or a small child unwrapping a wonderful birthday gift... oh the wrapper.. oh the chocolate... oh the next 3... mmmmmmmmm... i guess part of it is envy.. man i'd love to eat some candy but that would negate any complaints about weight. i don't know... i guess the message over all is " DO WHAT YOU WANT" and i'll either envy the fact that you don't give a shit or the fact that your weakness prevails... i live through you weak fat person.. keep up the good (read rediculous) work!!!
i remain your chum.

hi it's monday
DAY 48 - feelin great
Monday, March 18, 2002
6:30 - coffee coffee
7:00 -coffee coffee coffee
thought i forgot my luncheon sack at home (but it was in the car!!!!)
10:00 - bouns coffee supplied by co-worker
12:30 - strawberry yogurt, with raisins and a coupla shredded wheats - an orange and an apple
6:00 - the ringer - my old friend.. made hastily but still damned good.
10:00 banana -
I cannot say enough about yogurt.... lately i've had difficulty finding my standard vanilla but strawberry is also an acceptable flavor all others... GLUTTONOUS GARBAGE. yogurts, i've found are a lunch, a snack and more importantly that lavish dessert. when you're at home alone.. bored, lonely and you wish to drown your sorrows in fudge iced cakes filled with pies ala' mode... or custard and jelly beans... have a god damned yogurt you fool. yogurts work much like the "RINGER".. if you tell yourself (as you should have by now) "i hate ice cream!!!! and a yogurt is equal to or better then an ice cream anyway" baby you're on your way!! although the hypnosis can do a whammy on you like if you have a yogurt with a little grape nuts sprinkeled in and some raisins and a banana... you might head off to the toilet for some non traditional vomiting because you've convinced yourself sooo successfully that this is LAVISH - but don't ---- it's all good. see i'm lookin out for you.
i hope you're all doing well. remember thin is in. amen and much love.
ms. honkey

SUNDAY DAY 47 - MARCH 17 ST. PATRICKS DAY (aka the feast of all jack offs)
worked today.. truly like a nightmare... only when i was caught outside the confines of the bar... to get out there amongst the human waste was really toooo much... how bad could it be you ask... "yes someone did vomit on the bar"... nuf said. i hate people hate them with such venom...uggghhhh
9:00 coffee coffee coffee
11:00 - blueberry bagel w/ low fat strawberry cream cheese
4:00 - 1/8 of a slice of pizza.
7:00 turkey sandwich
GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will hope to awaken refreshed and with a new outlook on humanity. if not i will start my killing spree.

SATURDAY - DAY 46 - MARCH 16 2002
THIS DAY DOES NOT EXIST