gee that was a good movie 

tues/wed. jan 31/feb01 year 0
hi
whats going on with you all?
i'm tired... maybe because its past midnight and i'm still up.
soooooo today the object of my affection came in... awesome.. i dig him... still can't ask him out - paralyzed by fear. but i was reading this "self-help"/ "advice" book and the first chapters subject was "i think he likes me but why isn't he asking me out?" the answer - he's not that into you.... yes you've all heard about the book... cheesy of course but the MAN who wrote it said "trust me if a guy is interested he will ask you out!" and it ain't happenin... and i'm beginning to feel like a pining idiot..(per usual). so i don't know what to do? any idea's if there are dudes reading this i partiularily value your opinion... and be honest. i've persued other people.. few and far betwixt...but it seems to me to have been treated like a novelty or a time filler .... and i'm tired. so let me know. its exhausting. i still dig him but ... i'm spending so much time envisioning asking him out and what not but perchance - it aint happenin. i do know he is very very shy. ehhh. there you go.
so other topic.
i saw the movie SYIRANA... go see it... a friend called and wanted to see it and i really had very minor interest in it but think highly of said friend and was delighted to be asked to do something. it was goooooooooood. go see it and write to me about it.... at iamthea@gmail.com.
so i'm going to bed. i must. tomorrrow thankfully i'm off the liberry so i will work till 3 then have some time then head over to the welk/lopixx estate for some gh recap fun. and dinner. love it. ( i learned recently that despite how much they seem to like it you maybe shouldn't twirl a baby around by her feet!!! - shit she liked it- it made her laugh.... my bad).
onward and upward or whatever.
i remain a friend,
thea

mon/tues jan 30/31 year 0
hey all.
i realized today that i really totally HATE MONDAY'S its a cliche i know but man does it suck. ick. that said.... today wasn't as bad as i had built it to be. work then work at the berry .. which was fun because my friend/co-worker/bitter person/mean guy ron robinson was laughing at everytyhing which made the time much more pleasureable.. he's hysterical.
day work was day work . uneventful. however tomorrow the object of my affection is coming into da skoo and i'm nervous because let's see its been a year and i still cannot grow a ball and ask him to do something... i hate it because in the abstract you can totally picture yourself being sooooo cool and saying "so do you want to do something sometime... dinner whatever?" and then when confronted with this person you turn into a sweating, blathering, blushing idiot. soo great.... ugggghhhh i swear everytime i say -- this is it.. i'm gonna do it---- then perspiration and intestinal dysfunction take over and nothing happens. tomorrow i will try yet again ... pray for me if you do that!
anyhow... i already hate this week .... for no reason then its another week ya know.
thankfully i have wed. nite dinner and gh. with carolyn and una (let me send out 2 words to fans of general hospital right now.. MOTHER FUCKIN ROBERT SCORPIO---) yeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
oh well i'm off to bed and looking forward to this week ending! i'm sure you are too.
continue doing what you do - rocking i hope.
thea