thursday
hi,
today went both fast and slow as it is the day before the 1/2 day that begins my holiday days off. hooray. 12:30 tomorrow - i'm free baby. g'bye everybody!
so i'm at home after running around its 9:00 p.m. - i note it is actually colder then normal in mine house... i call PB landlord and hero and my fucking furnace is broke - yep i'm about to hit the rack up here and its about 50 degrees in mine house. i went and got an electric blanket and PBs fine fine lady sent over 2 space heaters..i will live. i wanted to call the welk and the sinner in case it got cold or i wanted to sleep over there but last time i called at 9:08 i got yelled at so i went and bought the blanket!!! should be o.k.
i just hope that it can be fixed manana. i worry more that the cats will be cold. although i think by putting their beds in what i like to call "the sleepy teepee" the can keep a little warmer.
oh well 1/2 day more!
bye
f as in fea and
f as in freezing to death

wednesday
hi
i hate christmas.. actually upon thinking about it.. i actually really like christmas and all that it involves i just HATE MY SPECIFIC CHRISTMAS and the experience it entails. i pep talk myself constantly from now till then saying "o.k. it's just a few hours of a coupla days ... you can do this... go buy some meaningless garbage, put your time in go home and pray to get snowed in" sad. yea i like christmas. heres a weird one.. i was watching A CHRISTMAS CAROL (the patrick stewart version - amongst my top 5) anyhow literally 33 minutes into the movie i was sobbing... yep one stoney b. sobs. and pretty much consistently with little break (except for commercials but i'd pick back up after the commercial) how weird is that??? when i saw it was on t.v. i thought to myself - oh i should call carolyn & sam and we could watch it together and be festive or whatever but in retrospect.. thank god i didn't i cannot weep like that in front of them. and i guarantee even if i watched it every day i would cry every day. MENTAL. TOTALLY MENTAL.
carolyn and sam went to see what style baby they were having this after noon and the baby was sitting in a ball on it's stomach so they couldn't tell.... i tried to tell her to have some chilli and fizzy pop to get the kid moving around but oh well... now it's still a mystery. zsa zsa? or herod? we don't know.
and i had a pommegranit.
good night
fea
my christmas carol tops list
1. the alaistair simm version
2. the patrick stewart version
3. the mister magoo version
4. the george c. scott version
5. i don't know

sunday
hello and happy sunday.
i had a fun sunday traveling with majda, carolyn and lil' nola. we went to pittsuburgh and it was good we talked we shopped we cried we ate mcdonalds we slept.
the rock and roll benefit was good i am thankful for those who showed up... and condemning of those who did not. shame on you. the rock was good the ambiance was great and you are garbage for missing out.
yesterday evening the flying V'shad the usual crew over for the big yearly dinner.. and it was quite excellent.. i love these people and am honored to be in this group (albeit carolyn, maj and i were a sattelite group) but regardless they are the best and whilst i might sometimes lust after other groups of friends i will stick with those that are mine - the ones i 've hung with for many many years now and i will thank them for years of fun and absurdity. plus if i were to try to, at this late stage try to gain acceptance in those other groups i would feel foolish and idiotic. i will stick with the hand i've been dealt.
so how are you all.
extra big ups to listener Don V. for a.) showing up at the show but more so for showing up with a great attitude and a willingness to approach people and say "hey!" - plus he gave me an excellent tiarra.
and to chuck... for being a solid dude and just being there .. your presence was truly appreciated.
goodnight.
amen.
and whatever.
thea