SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD.
THEA

my chips are still wet
i'm tired
i'm bored
i'm sickened
i'm guilty
i'm sad
i'm annoyed
i'm hurt
i'm from outer space
i'm a cat lady
i'm in love with sleep
i'm jealous of artists
i'm hopeful
i'm going to bed.
thea

My chips have been totally doused.

Tuesday April 9th.
I have a sick cat. i don't know what to do. i don't feel equipt mentally or emotionally to make life or death decisions for her. i am feeling low and sickened by the whole thing.
- i have 44+(give or take a few) days of work left.... life is beautiful in that area.
- i love Michael Moriarty on law & order. his character... fantastic. not that i don't love sam waterston... but there are moments of sheer magic with mr. moriarty.
-my homeless friend marvin b. came to see me on opening day... i usually see him every time i work and i must say ... i adore him.. and i wish there were a way i could help him have a better life.... but for now i give him extra $$, free pop and food and my best wishes.... i don't know what else i can offer. he's a dear dear man.
-i'm glad to be making $$ at the bar again.... i purchased flowers today for my garden/yard... the theme this spring/summer..... "how many god damned flowers come in pink?" i'm getting them.
- i saw my brain doctor today... she's so nice (i guess that's the job of being with crazy people) we're upping my medication... hopefully i won't become a drooling zombie and by the same token i won't shoot the mailman either... delicate balance is all i ask.
-THE RINGER - back in full effect. i love it. i took a week off for vacation/end of diet living/ whatever and realized i NEED the program
-i'm still a bit lonely... i want to do things. i want to drive in the car on a sunday afternoon with a human being - and have lunch and 'rap on the phone, and do stuff. i feel like a total fag for feeling like this i guess it's being 25+ - and the natural desire to "nest" or whatever... as i so frequently deny my age the desire to establish human contact and the admission of it is - frightening, sickening, exciting, loathesome, odd, hopeful.
-i am going to order chris a monkey blanket so as to cure all that plagues him. - don't belive it'll work... you're a stupid son of a bitch.
-lastly, hey and much love to the welk, sam, dan & maj - if you're gonna establish a core group of folks to be with forevever - i reccommend these guys whole heartedly......... i'm a reference for their kick ass-ed-ness.
alright, i will sign off say good night and as always pray for a better tomorrow.
i work for the tribe game so pray for $$$$$$$$
later gators

NO LONGER THE DIET DIARY!!!
it's monday april 8th, Tribe home opener.. i had every intention of writing my first post-diet blog today but it's 9:39 and i'm feeling tired and crabby and no good for blogging. i wish you all the best and i'll write tomorrow.
amen.