monday jaMuary 26 year 0

a loooooooooooooong day already.

but o.k. i guess..... although at one job i'm beginning to feel like i am the only person who feels deadlines.......... whilst many others are like "tra la la.... i'm getting to it..... maybe another week" the fact that the word DEAD appears in "deadline" should be a clue to the gravity. or not.

so my polish guru was in again today - didn't mention his travel plans for me thank god. but then this russian guy came in and gave me a bottle of wine and a bottle of some liquor that i don't know what it is but looks like it would knock me on my ass. nice to get gifts.

-- worked yesterday............. lately i've been absolutely dreading the sundays i volunteered for... just cannot want to go.. even called off one but this past sunday i got my head straight.... who the hell is gonna pay me good time and a half to do nothing for 4 hours on a sunday? nobody so shut the f.. up and go. boring? yes. tedious? yes. lucrative? hells yes! although when/if i get this promotion at job #1 its looking like i'll be working most saturdays so i don't know if i'm gonna volunteer next year for any sundays we'll see where my total breakdown/burnout factor is come september. at least for once i'll be paid like a semi human being although not enough on either job to quit one so i better get to lovin these 12 hour days cuz they're not going anywhere anytime soon. boguuuuuuuuusness...... let alone ma'boss said i will be needed to work job #1 in the summer now which means i cannot switch shifts at the liberry and work early and have a life.... and to be honest.... no one needs to be there in the summer more then 3 days a week for about 4 hours.. there's literallly nothing to do... former boss use to go in and read a book and putter around........... i can do that at home thank you very much. plus baby fea gots to go to the pool. but i'm thinking i've worked there for 13 years and have never taken any vacation time so i should have a nice stock pile there that i can blow in the summer (i hope). so much to think about.

other then that nuthin? i've realized that i don't think i eat enough in a day....... there is some website that will calculate the # of calories in everything you eat in a day and give you the total... and bases what you should be eating based on height, current weight and desired weight loss so i'm supposed to eat 12,000 to 15,000 calories a day which is kind of alot to me (especailly when you look at their "meal plans" - i eat a hardboiled eggwhite for breakfast and they're all about like 2 pieces of toast, a yogurt a cup of fruit....... who the hell has that time?) but i'm falling at the max 954 and the least 400 - and yet i'm fat as fat can be. i guess that kind of poor eathing slows down your metabolism alot ---thats gay.

i've got about an hour left so let me go fake doing something.

later gators

cheers to the starvation nation

no cake.....

thea